Last Game (07.01.12):
Indians 6, Orioles 2
WP: Justin Masterson (5-7, 3.92)
LP: Brian Matusz (5-10, 5.42)

Up Next:
Vs. Angels 07.02.12 7:05p

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Pass the Pepto

Because I just spent like 7 hours vomiting.  Just how bad of a beat down was this?  We know that the Sox have scored 9+ runs in 4 consecutive games for the first time in 75 years, but does that really tell the story?  Over the 3 game set, Chicago scored 35 runs while batting .384.  Their freakin' team OPS was 1.126.  The whole team.  For 3 games.  Anyone want to hazard a guess as to where I lay the blame?

You might argue that the real goats of the weekend were the Tribe's starting pitchers.  Jeanmar Gomez, Derek Lowe and Ubaldo Jimenez did pitch to a 15.75 ERA over their combined 12 innings while putting 2 and a half base runners on per inning.  That is pretty GD bad, but here's the thing, the White Sox offense was on fire before the Indians came to town.  If you're going to beat a team whose offense is clicking like a Zimbabwean with Tourette's, you're going to have to outhit them.  That, my friends, was made impossible by the shameful line-ups that woManny penciled in on the South Side.  No disrespect to Jose Lopez, but the dude does not belong in the clean-up spot and anytime you have a #5 hitter with a .618 OPS, you're so far down the creek that you can hear banjos.

Chris from Cleveland asks, "What would you have done differently?"  Glad you asked Chris.  Your coffee mug is on the way.  It all starts with a point that I expounded upon yesterday and shan't belabor today.  Use the disabled list!  Part two, and this is huge, stop all of the whining and rationalizing and put the best team possible on the field every day.  That means no Juan Diaz.  That means if the Major League club fighting for 1st place needs Jason Donald or Matt LaPorta or Lonnie Chisenhall for 3 days or 10 minutes, you call them up!  That means if Jared Goedert could take Sidd Finch deep right now, purchase his contract, DFA the abortion that is Jairo Asencio and get the kid's bat in the lineup.  Oh, you need a new long man?  His name is Frank Herrmann and he should have been on the roster on April 5th!  When this team falls 2 wins short of the post-season, they need only to recall this lost weekend in the Windy City and the total lack of a capable manager as the cause.

Before I go, let me scream a little more about the pitching staff.  Simply put, unless you can field 12 guys (in this day and age) that can produce ERA's under 5.00, you are not going to win!  Get it?  Asencio?  Crap!  Cut his hamstrings and throw him in a dumpster!  Hey, Tony Sipp!  6.62 is not OK!  If you give up a .412 average to right handers and a .385 clip in the 8th inning, you do not keep your job!  If Scott Barnes is a reliever, let's give him a shot.  He cannot do any worse that Sipp.  And what about Ubaldo?  What can you possibly do with him?  Can't release him, too much invested.  Can't send him down, no more options.  You certainly not allow him to continue to walk 7 guys and surrender 6 earned runs per 9 innings.  Solution:  Invent an injury.  Oh, Jimenez is on the 15-day DL with right shoulder fatigue or inflammation of his Adductor Loncus.  What the hell ever.  Give him 2 weeks to get his head straight and the let him rediscover how to pitch during the 30-day "rehab" assignment.  If Josh Tomlin is healthy, then Zach McAllister is clearly a better choice than Ubaldo as the 5th starter.

WoManny says that he doesn't need any character tests for this team.  Too late, idiot.  The true tests of this club's character is when they have to feign respect for a bum that couldn't manage a Mr Hero, let alone a big league baseball squad, and are forced to swallow the bitter horse pills that his incompetence brings on a daily basis.  Although the Tribe has a good deal of talent and bit more on the way, they will never win with woManny steering the ship.  Accept it.

Roll Tribe.

Cheers.

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